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Sian day...went to school in the morning & had my brunch there because the teachers had some food from some catering & couldn't finish...so end up the choir commitee having free food!!!haha...played a bit of bball with bo in school before going home...

My mom asked me to go out again the moment i stepped home...she wanted me to buy lunch for both my sis & her...cycled to loyang point & became a doorman...1st held the door open for this small little malay girl...then returned a hindi movie VCD which my sis borrowed...then bought lunch for the 2 ladies @ home...then held the door again for this hot babe...haha...but she's malay & older than me...lol...

Bathed & went out to meet zax before going to bo's house for more bball...played ABC & i actually won!!!haha...so they had to run 5 rounds around the court but i give them discount of 1 round (actually is i count wrongly...)Played a bit more & decided to go buy drinks...got too lazy after that so bo went home while me & zax went to t-mall to rot...walked a bit then decided to go home...

Had some big emo drama @ home like those Taiwanese drama series you see on TV...started because baby megan a bit loud today...kept crying & bugged her mother who is my sis...she then screamed continuouslly @ my bro-in-law who then got fed up & started shouting back...seeing her 2 parents going crazy,megan cried even louder...went to my room to avoid trouble after that...

Had dinner & my sis started her nonsense by insulting me again...got a bit pissed & told her to control her own child before trying to 'care' about me...she then said that everything is my fault while i never admit it...sigh...she herself blames everyone else when ever something goes wrong yet she never realises it...shan't talk about this anymore...

Got to study my chinese...my o-lvl is in a day's time yet i still can play...haha...power...gonna play till i'm mad once my paper ends on mon!!!

11:22 PM

Did nothing but sleep today,so i shall blog about yesterday since i didn't really sleep yesterday...

Went to bugis after school cause i just didn't feel like staying @ home,don't know why but i just don't feel like myself for the past few weeks...went home to have dinner after that.

Washed the dishes & went out @ 10+pm again to meet my big bro,who has just been back from china,alan & zax...cycled to my bro's house & locked my bike outside before meeting them downstairs...he rented a Toyota Corolla & we went 'flying' down some quiet street around Changi Airport...haha...not really called flying also cause the car only made it to 100km/h before it went into overdrive...went back to his house after that...

Played all sorts of poker card games & forgot to go home again...@ least this time the games didn't include alcohol but i got a bit tempted to smoke...sigh...don't know what's wrong with me...james decided to read our lives with tarot cards after that...haha...seems like what i got is what i thought & what i am...that i am a loyal person who will lead a simple life...after that he decided to read our bones & also thought us how to...but he said that now i am very pressured & angry over something...not very good...also said that it'll be very dangerous if i don't cool down & end up popping...guess i need to calm myself down & try being myself again...

Zax went home after that around 4 while bro fetched him home,me & alan decided to sleep in the air-con room...fell into a very deep sleep & woke up like @ 6+ freezing...sat in the toilet because it felt warmer...went outside after that & saw my bro sleeping on the sofa...sat on the sofa opposite & fell asleep as well...woke up @ 11 & got home @ 12...

Feeling very bored...super depressed also...sigh...got meet-the-parents session in school tomorrow...but i'm going to school earlier to do something with aetii...God bless him & also help me with my temper...Goodnight!

10:16 PM

Hello!!!don't feel like studying my chinese,so decided to switch on my com & rot...haha...did quite well for my EOY this year,but i'm praying that he gets promoted to sec4 express next year...come on!!!

Dressed like a clown today...had to wear robert's singlet,some black trash bag,a sari or sarong(my brain not working le...),Mrs Pong's heels & worst of all,make-up like eye-shadow,blusher & lipstick!!!my goodness...think i looked like a ghost sia...whoever got photo can let me see?washed my face dunno how many times today...

Skipped tuition today,had planned to sleep but ended up going cycling with bo because i didn't feel like sleeping...met him @ his house then went to TM as i wanted to get myself that cap,just bought it then came out & met my aikido friend again...haha...meet him everytime i go 77th street...wanted to tell bo about it but he was pointing @ this couple who were hugging each other super tightly outside...next thing we knew,that guy was ***** *** from bo's class!!!lol...i almost died of laughter @ that moment sia...bo decided he shall take a video but later decided to take a picture...haha...went downstairs & saw them hugging each other all the way down the escalators...lol...decided to dash back to our bikes...cycled to school & talked to PC & aetii...then me & bo ended up watching some kids getting bullied by this ang moh in a street soccer court because the ang moh just kept tricking those kids & doing fancy stunts lah...wanted to join then the kids said they'd better go home...so couldn't let that ang moh taste his own medicine...haha...then i cycled home lor...

Fell asleep the moment i got home,next thing i knew,my mom was waking me up to eat dinner...super tired today.sleeping soon...goodnight!!!

10:28 PM

Tomorrow got school!!!i don't feel like going school...esp when tmw is get back results...super scared i repeat...

Spent yesterday & today hanging out with my 2 buddies zax & JL...went to vivo city ytd...had actually gone parkway play pool but we got bored & decided to check out vivo,so we took MRT there...squeezed with all the ppl & the 2 horny perverts started looking for 'hot babes'...think they saw a lot of mountains & valleys,but we also went to find some caps cause JL wanted to get one while i want a new cap cause mine is becoming discoloured...had dinner @ carl's jr. & got this 4 girls who are around my sis's age but wear until super sexy,so JL & zax were constantly peeking there & discussing whether whose bigger or got wear bra not...lol...luckily my back facing them...otherwise my nose sure start spraying blood...haha...took 21 back with them...talked about our da sao...haha...& how JL should confess to her...then decided we should meet today...

Met them @ tampines interchange today...zax wanted to use his laptop so we went to every macdonalds looking for an empty power socket...ended up looking @ different girls' friendster profiles...JL felt that we a bit too pervertic after a while so we went looking for more caps,found a super nice 1 but i haven't saved,so cannot buy while JL realised plain caps don't suit him...so me & zax told him to ask for da sao's opinion...he decided to go meet her after that so zax went home while i accompanied him to white sands to meet her since i've never seen her face before...haha...saw her face then went home le...

Watched TV then got bored...so i decided to blog...playing Maroon 5 album now...no idea why i suddenly felt like listening to their songs...better sleep early soon...haven't had any good sleep cause i've been coming home super late these few days & sleeping only @ like 1 or 2,plus got bloody house renovation starting @ 9am sharp every morning right behind my room,so i only got like 5 hours sleep everyday...damn sian...goodnight!!!

9:47 PM

Just got back from kembangan...had gone off to play b-ball with brandon and his friends...super bored...

learnt something new...going back to school after 1 week makes one tend to think about a lot of things...haha...dunno wat i'm saying...sigh...my big bro just migrated to china last night...might never see him anymore...sad...but i dunno why i dun really had a lot of feelings other than feeling super sad that i'll never see him again...well,he never taught me his bone-reading skill...i wanna learn it lah...@ least i still can communicate with him through msn...sigh...

might be going to melbourne & sydney during the dec holidays!!!sitting SIA some more!!!can play the on-flight games like siao again!!!haha...going to sleep...got BBQ tmw...goodnight!!!

Relient K - Who I Am Hates Who I've Been

I watched the proverbial sunrise
Coming up over the Pacific and
You might think I'm losing my mind,
But I will shy away from the specifics...

'cause I don't want you to know where I am
'cause then you'll see my heart
In the saddest state it's ever been.

This is no place to try and live my life.

Stop right there. That's exactly where I lost it.
See that line. Well I never should have crossed it.
Stop right there. Well I never should have said
That it's the very moment that
I wish that I could take back.

I'm sorry for the person I became.
I'm sorry that it took so long for me to change.
I'm ready to be sure I never become that way again
'cause who I am hates who I've been.
Who I am hates who I've been.

I talk to absolutely no one.
Couldn't keep to myself enough.
And the things bottled inside have finally begun
To create so much pressure that I'll soon blow up.

I heard the reverberating footsteps
Synching up to the beating of my heart,
And I was positive that unless I got myself together,
I would watch me fall apart.

And I can't let that happen again
'cause then you'll see my heart
In the saddest state it's ever been.

This is no place to try and live my life.

Stop right there. That's exactly where I lost it.
See that line. Well I never should have crossed it.
Stop right there. Well I never should have said
That it's the very moment that
I wish that I could take back.

Stop right there. That's exactly where I lost it.
See that line. Well I never should have crossed it.
Stop right there. Well I never should have said
That it's the very moment that
I wish that I could take back.

I'm sorry for the person I became.
I'm sorry that it took so long for me to change.
I'm ready to be sure I never become that way again
'cause who I am hates who I've been.
Who I am hates who I've been.

Who I am hates who I've been
And who I am will take the second chance you gave me.
Who I am hates who I've been
'cause who I've been only ever made me...

So sorry for the person I became.
So sorry that it took so long for me to change.
I'm ready to be sure I never become that way again
'cause who I am hates who I've been.
Who I am hates who I've been.

12:14 AM

good morning...nothing happened today...or rather sunday which is yesterday...so i'll blog about satuday then...

woke up @ 11 plus...rotted for the rest of the morning,then got nagged @ again by my mom...she said something which insulted me,but i shan't say it here...

rotted in my room until 2.45,then took 19 to tampines mall...had to take some survey by this guy who was from ngee ann sec about some church thing...then went off with zax & my big bro...he wanted to watch world trade center,but zax & me didn't want to watch any movie...so we went to starbucks to wait for jon...

met jon then we sat a while more before deciding to go downtown east to play pool,got there & realised i just a year too young to play...sigh...sat in x-square with my bro watching a kid play ninja gaiden...then went to play the b-ball game in the arcade with zax...before we realised it,it was alr 8...

had our dinner then decided to play poker @ my bro's house & maybe drink....jon started sms-ing someone special to him...even attempted to peek @ her while zax & bro were buying poker cards...haha...

played some card games & learned some new magic tricks when james' real bro came with a bottle of absolute vodka...then we played indian poker...crazy game...jon got drunk 1st...he started saying he was angel & pretended to fly while zax got drunk next...i did some stupid stuff like sms-ing miss chen yuhan aka my 'mom' that i love her...lol...& i even did an indian dance which i can't remember doing...then zax got real drunk & puked all over...james & his bro then helped us to deal with ourselves who were drunk like mad...i got sober 1st & got some power hangover...jon started cursing saying why all those pimpleface always got girlfriends & why he doesn't...gave him an ice-pack to hug & he started crying...when he passed it back to me he was laughing again...

james went to deal with zax...leaving his bro,alan,with me & jon...we started talking about girlfriends & our lives & my brain wandered all over the place to that someone...sigh...hurts just to think about it now...jon started puking & went home @ 3+am while me & alan slept on the sofa in the living room...

woke up @ 7+am...saw zax walking around...then james woke up...then alan went into the room to sleep...tried to help zax...puked onto the carpet...& his puke is slimy...yuck...full of his gastric juices mixed with alcohol...went home @ 10.45am...

well...@ least i finally got my wish to have some alcohol since the incident on 19/8...try my best not to think about it anymore & i'll stay away from alcohol for a long time!

12:41 AM